Makin' Lemonade

I know this is a fitness and lifestyle blog. But this post is not focused around working out, but about lifestyle in general. In order to understand me in the slightest, it's important to understand where I came from.

This is my family. It's a little outdated, but it's us to a T regardless. My dad had just pinched my arm and was pretending like he didn't know why I kept laughing and pulling my arm away... Crazy, dad.

I can't claim this title to be my own. I have to give credit to my dad - but I'll get to that later.

I haven't published any posts in a while, because I have been struggling with what to say! Which, if you know me at all, is hard to believe.

Me? Have nothing to say?! Unheard of.

Things are crazy right now. I feel like my life is moving so fast, that sometimes I miss it completely!

Life after college is weird. There's no start, and there's no end. It's just perpetual life, and it never ends.

Well, it does end, of course. But, the time in between birth and death is sort of like a jumbled mess. We are all supposed to do something in our lives (why else would we be here?) but how are we supposed to know what to do? How are we supposed to know our calling?

I guess I think about this more than most people, because I feel like I have life pulling me in a million directions. I've always wanted to be a professional singer. I love to sing. But how do you even become a professional singer?

I also have always wanted to be an ESPN reporter, or a broadcaster in general. I mean, where do I even start if I want to pursue that?

I want to own my own gym and lead fitness classes all day. I want to be a publicist for the Chicago Bulls. I want to be an artist and lead those wine and paint classes (you know the ones where you paint the same pic as the rest of the class, but it gets harder & harder as you drink more & more wine because you're picture is looking less & less like the teacher's...).

My mom and dad holding me as a baby! New beginnings, huh? This is a new beginning they'll never forget!

A common theme in my life right now is new beginnings. I just signed the lease to a new apartment with my two besties (yay!) and, like you know, I have been working through the beginning stages of a new job in media broadcast sales.

Do you guys watch This is Us? The new show with Mandy Moore?

The latest episode was all about new beginnings, and all of the new beginnings started with a baby. Randall - the little black baby that Mandy Moore's family adopted when one of their triplets died in childbirth - touched numerous lives by a ripple effect.

The doctor, who suggested to Jack (the dad) that they should take the boy as their son, realizes he can't continue to dwell on his sadness about his wife being gone. He decides to start new; create a new beginning.

The same thing happens with Jack and his wife, Rebecca, when they adopt Randall as their son. They decide to start fresh, with a new outlook, and make lemonade out of the "sourest lemons life has to offer" (Doctor K describes).

I like to think of every day as a new beginning. You sort of have to when you don't get to start over every school year, or semester. I mess up every day at my new job. If you can't think of every day as a new start, then you're in for a rough life, filled with zero second chances. I don't know about you, but I need those second chances.

Sometimes what it takes to have a fresh start, a new beginning, only takes a minute to look at the positive. Making lemons out of lemonade.

I would like to tell you that it's easy, and that there's always some sort of light shining through the dark. And, while this may be true, it is NOT always easy to find. Sometimes, you don't even want to see the light even if it is there.

I speak on this from a place of personal darkness. I do have credibility on this subject. My dad, with whom I was very close, died from cancer at age 47 right after my 20th birthday.

I was always, and WILL always, be a daddy's girl. From Day 1: We were best pals.

I was devastated. For months, life seemed like a fog I was just floating through. I had no real emotions, except for desolate sadness. I went back to college two weeks after her died. I was just starting my junior year at Calvin College in Grand Rapids, Michigan at the time. I had some family there, but I didn't get together with them as much as I should have. I had friends, but young adults at this stage in life are among the most selfish. I don't say this to hurt my friends, or make them think they weren't there for me. This isn't the case. But while drama with school, getting good grades, break-ups and make-ups, hitting bars and attending house parties gets in the way, it's hard to think about someone else's loss. I felt like when I entered a room, there was a cloud of darkness surrounding me. The type of cloud that can only come from a pain-staking loss at a young age. I know this, because the look on people's faces when they ran into me was the way people look at someone who's going through a divorce. They crinkle their eye brown, tilt their head to one side, and hug you much longer than is necessary.

I am not naive enough to say that this is the greatest loss one can encounter. Not even close. But it is a strange feeling to outlive your parent at 20 years old. That's not normal. It's not fair. And it's sure as hell not a walk in the park.

At 22 years old now, I still find myself emotionally numb at times, and having unprecedented, overwhelming breakdowns at different times.

When my dad was sick, my family started a blog, called "Army for Art" (my dad's name is Arthur). Early on in his battle, my dad published a post about makin' lemonade (hence, the title). He explains this old adage as only "reader's digest stuff" until you've gone through something traumatic and important. He mentions how his new recipe for lemonade (which included chemo, sore feet, hands and mouth, along with a lot of irritability) did not taste good. Definitely not a lemonade you want to be sipping on. His main point throughout the blog is that making lemonade out of adversity is not easy, but it tastes so good!

This is me, my dad and my sister. I just love this picture.

I am reading Settle For More by Megyn Kelly, the former FOX news star. I received a signed copy of her book from my pastor, Reverend Peter Semeyn. He knows all about my aspirations to become a broadcaster, and he got me this book. Without hesitation, I have been filling my long train rides to and from work with my nose deep in Megyn's words of wisdom.

Believe it or not, Megyn Kelly and I have more in common than you could imagine. Besides the fact that she has one of my (many) dream jobs, her dad also died when she was young. Throughout her life's journey, she refers back to the notion that life truly is too short. Yes, that is another old adage, just like "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade" is. Life is too short. There is something to be said about losing a loved one at a young age. You realize that life can truly end at any moment - and that, my friends, is a scary thought.

It makes you realize when you are unhappy with how your life is going, you want to change it ASAP. Give yourself a new beginning and try something that makes you happy. You don't know when your life's compass will take you in an unexpected direction. Don't let yourself be discontent with where you are right now.

Like my dad said in his post about makin' lemonade... when you reach a crossroads of the phrase "when life gives you lemons..." you have to find a new recipe for your lemonade. Going through the loss of a loved one sucks. I'm not going to try and mask this and tell you it's all going to be alright every step of the way. But you will survive. You will move on. You will be okay. The pain will not necessarily hurt less. But you will find new ways to cope with it. As time goes on, the pain becomes almost a comfort - it's a reminder that the love you shared with that person was real. I am happy when I'm hurting, as weird as that may sound. It reminds me of how great my dad was, and how much I miss him. Yes, I'm still so sad about it every day. But I feel lucky to have had a dad that I am able to be sad about missing so much that it hurts. It means that his absence is recognized, my relationship with him was valuable, and will never be forgotten. He was truly the best dad ever.

I was always my dad's summer girl. I still am! We both love the sun (one of the many reasons I have a sun tattoo) and love the warmth of summer.

It took a long time for me to be able to see the positive side of my family's adversity. But, Megyn Kelly and I share a common acknowledgment of life's beauty: It ends. And it often ends too quickly. With this sense of time in mind, we are able to make lemonade out of the lemons life has given us. I try to do it every day. Thankfully, life also has the beauty of giving you a new beginning to try again and again until you find the sweetness among the sour lemons.

So, here I am. Makin' lemonade. Like dad would want :)

Here are my and my parents. Probably making some lemonade.

My mom would sign all of our "Army for Art" blog with our mantra from when my dad was sick:

Strength for today, bright hope for tomorrow.

From now on, I'm going to do the same.

Last but not least, here is your workout!! Enjoy!

Workout:

I think at-home workouts are UNDER-RATED! If you have a little space in your living room, this workout can be done. You don't even need weights. Seriously.

(approximately 40 minutes)

Warm-up/Cardio:

1 minute butt-kicks

1 minute high knees

1 minute burpees

1 minute mountain climbers

1 minute jumping jacks

REPEAT

Circuit 1:

30 raised tricep dips (get two chairs: hands on one lifting yourself up, feet on the other)

24 commandos (12x per arm)

4 mountain climbers with 1 push-up (8x)

30 squat jumping jacks

REPEAT

Circuit 2:

20 supermans to ground-up push-ups

15 triangle push-ups (knees on the ground)

20 skull crusher with milk jug (or a peanut butter jar)

16 spiderman push-ups (knee to elbow as you lower yourself)

20 jump kicks (as you jump, kick and switch feet in the air)

Circuit 3:

10 tuck jumps

15 push-ups

30 extended crunches (legs and arms go out and crunch back together)

10 burpees

30 feifer scissors (lay on back with legs straight - one a few inches above ground and the other straight up - hold for 3 counts and switch)

30 bicycles

REPEAT